Remembering December 20, 1989

I didn't know how much remembering this date would affect me, until I started to write this post. Tears have came to my eyes! It has been the most bloody days in my country's history. The military operation "Just Cause," well known as the U.S. invasion to Panama. This operation wasn't fair for Panamanian civilians, and not even for the American soldiers. Because they had the order to kill around Christmas. We celebrated Christmas in tears and with fear by thinking who of our family members had died, where the next attack would take place. We lost contact with my dad who used to work near Rio Hato, a town were a Panamanian military base was located. There were military confrontations in and around the military bases. So we knew my dad could be in trouble, but he could call us days later after the invasion. I remember hearing gun fires coming front the Pacific coast. Panamanian militaries escaped from Rio Hato thru the mountains around the Pacific coast. They got intersected by American soldiers who were strategically placed in the riffle bonkers built around those mountains during Wold War II. The whole country experienced the most horrible sense of insecurity and weaknessed the most horribles scenes of a war zone, especially, in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Panama, known as "El Chorrillo."

The invasion could be avoided. But the American government chose not to, which it was understandable according to them. Panamanian civilians were confronting Noriega's dictatorship months previous to the invasion. The dictatorship was tumbling because of the pressure civilians were doing by confronting the Panamanian Army to defend their rights. Panamanian Militaries got tiered of seeing their people fighting against them —Panamanian against Panamanian. A group of Panamanian soldiers commanded by Moisés Giroldi conspired against Noriega. Moisés Giroldi contacted the US Southern Command, which operated in the Canal Zone. He told them about his plans to capture Noriega, so the US Army could extradite Noriega to the US. The US Southern Command agreed! The agreement was a US Army helicopter would arrive to the Panamanian military base located in "El Chorrillo" and take Noriega. On 3 October 1989,  Giroldi captured Noriega and persuaded other soldiers, working in that sift, to join him. But the US Army helicopter never arrived. This gave enough time to soldiers who supported Noriega to fight back against Giroldi. There were confrontations among the Panamanian Soldiers, so Giroldi got unarmed. Noriega took a gun, shooting right straight to Giroldi's head.


Why didn't the US Army helicopter arrive? The US Army claimed, at that time, it was missed communication. But the real reason was that Giroldi wasn't a trusting person, so they could not take that risk (Giroldi's intensions to get the county free of Noriega were true, but this is the price paid when you choose the wrong path). But there was one more powerful reason, that wasn't known by Panamanian civilians and the rest of the world. An American citizen got retained by Noriega for conspiracy against his dictatorship. This American civilian was living in Panama City because it seems he was married to a Panamanian woman. The American civilian began to intercept Noriega's conversations and shared them with the US Army. Noriega knew about it, so the American was captured, humiliated and tortured in the Panamanian military base located in El Chorrillo. The conspiracy agaisnt Noriega by Giroldi could put the American civilian's life in danger. The US Army was doing everything to get him back alive. So they had to strategically think on every move they would do. The "Just Cause" killed two (three) birds with one stone. They captured Noriega and released the American citizen alive. But they also sent a message to the world "how powerful they were" and the new weapons they had. Specially, for what was happening with, what was known as, Russia at that time.

Unfortunately, Panamanian civilians were the ones who truly paid the price for the errors and the horror of a dictatorship and the overpowering military operation from one of most powerful nations against a third wold country. The exact amount of Panamanian civilians lost  during the invasion will remind unknown. The estimates go from to 4,000 up to 8,000 Panamanian lost their lives in the invasion, including: babies, kids, women and seniors. A Panamanian Organization collected data and made surveys to know how many people were reported as missing and their bodies were never found. So the closer estimate according to this Panamanian organization is 5,000. More Panamanians died in the first 20 hour of the operation "Just Cause," than in 20 years of dictatorship. Things got out of control for the American Army. They probably not planned in this way, but this is the price Panamanians paid.  

The prognostic for Panamanian economy after the invasion were very discouraging. International economists predicted that it would take about 20 years for Panama recovered from the invasion. But regardless how much pain, human lost and destruction the invasion cost to my county, Panamanians took the lead back and our economy got recovered in 5 years after the invasion, instead 20 years –even when the US government didn't gave all the monetary support they promised to rebuild the distroided zones in Panama during the invasion. 23 years have passed after the invasion, I proudly say that Panama has the second place for having one of the the best and fastest growing economies in Latin America. When the presence of the American troops was removed from Panamanain soil in December 31, 1999; Many Panamanians celebrated, including me. We could have our land back, the Canal Zone.  But there were also many Panamanians who were sad because the US Army presence won't be in our country any more. Because they thought there were many benefits to keep the troops in Panama, especially for the economy. There were fears we won't be able to survive without the Americans. But once again, We did!

Currently,  the Panamanian Government and the American Government keep good international realtions and work together in the war against illigal drugs. 

I am very proud of being a Panamanian because we forgive, we accept and we celebrate. We don't keep bad feelings against Americans because of the invasion, in fact, there are a lot Americans immigrating to Panama and they are always "Welcome." We accepted the struggles the invasion brought because when the invasion happened, some countries offered to bring their troops and contra-attack the US Army. Panamanians stood up and said: NO! No in Panamanian soil. We suffered enough, we wanted to concentrate in moving on and rebuilding our country. Regardless, this sad part of my country's history, we celebrate life as much as we can because the Panamanian culture has always an excuse to make a party to celebrate everything; so the invasion didn't took away the way Panamanians are, joking around all the time. 

A Panamanian Message to the World:

FORGIVE, ACCEPT and CELEBRATE

I am married to an American citizen.

I have two kids who were born in American soil. 

One day, I will adopt the American citizenship. 

Lovely Discipline (Part 2)

Working full time makes discipline my boys a little harder for me. I am not at home, so I cannot see when my boys need to be disciplined or when discipline may be done using a different approach. So keeping an open communication with the caregivers or relative who help with baby sitting is crucial to be successful in a lovely discipline.

Disciplinary Methods
I do care so much about my kids feelings, this is the reason I have selected disciplinary methods that apply to my kids according to their ages and developmental stages. Discipline is teaching to behave in a manner the child learn judgement, good and bad. We don't apply any disciplinary method different to our son who has a genetic disorder than it is apply to a typical child. A child is a child regardless a diagnosis.

Positively Reinforcement:  Parental attention is one of the most powerful forms of positive reinforcement. 
I always focused in the good because it works for our oldest son. He likes we recognize his effort.

Tommy likes to have our attention. So I pay close attention of what he does when he is around and praise him for any good action he does. For example: He and Francis play chase. Tommy has lately been paitient with Francis and wait for Francis to start running and them he chaises Francis without pushing. So I give him a verbal praises: Such as: "You are being good waiting for your brother." And a big tide hugs accompany my words. So I get a big smile from Tommy and a warm feeling in my heart. Francis in the other hand, it is getting the idea of "praising" so it is happy moment when he realizes he had done something good, he began to say "Weeh" and clap.

Redirecting: 
This involves the simple act of redirecting the child to an appropriate behavior, instead telling the child "No, don't do that or No, don't do this." It takes practice avoid the use of the word "No," but it works! If you tell your child what it is correct and what he or she should be doing, instead hesitate to say no, he will know what it is appropriate. When one say "NO" to a young child, they cannot read our minds about what or why we are saying "NO."  Be specific about what the child should do instead of using "NO". This disciplinary method also expands the child's language comprehension because he or she will make the connection of your words with actions.

Time-outs: Time-outs is physically removing the child from a problem situation. The child should be sent to a neutral and being ignored until he/she is calm and quiet. It is recommended to use time-outs with moderation; otherwise, it will be ineffective. Consistency and repetition are essential to help the child to understand time-out. According to the Child Welfare League of America, a single behavior should be selected for time out. After time out,  sitting and talking to the child to explain why he was in time out and have a happy and positive time-out ending. 

A behavior that is not socially accept and we don't accept it in our house, eather, it is physically hurting others — in adulthood is called "assault"— so the behavior we have chosen to apply time-out is "NOT PHYSICALLY HURTING." Tommy and Francis have their fights. When it is not Tommy is Francis, the one that hit first. A typical situation, Tommy gets mad at Francis when they are playing and Francis changes the dynamic of play-time. So Francis knows when Tommy is going after him and he runs, then, Tommy reaches Francis' pulls his hair or pushes him. Tommy also hit his brother on purpose —Trisomy 21 doesn't exchange the fights among my boys. 

About 6 months ago, Tommy was very defiant to not going in time-out and grapped my hands and yilled at me "NOOO!" with a very angry voice. But now, he seems more mature  because he stays in time-out. I count backwards when the situation is getting out of control because this makes him to realize that he is in trouble and he brakes in tears. Currently, he gets 4 minutes of time but it is not quite often because he is not fitting with his brother so much. We put him in Time-out in the same place, on the big black couch. Everybody leave and let him alone. After  time-out is over, I hold him and we have a talk.  For example: I  always emphasis "We love you," we don't pull your hair. Or "We don't hit you." It hurts." When we hurt others we say "SORRY(LO SIENTO)." We practice until Tommy says "Sorry" /"Lo siento" or does an action that shows he is repentance. I also try that the Boys kiss or hug each other. We are not applying time-out for Francis because it is not age appropriate for him. But when he hurst Tommy he gets removed from conflict zone and I say something like: "Hitting hurts, be nice to Tommy" or just "No hurting, be nice."

Establishing Rules by adding chores:
 Explain your rules and be prepared to be consistent until the child learns to follow them on his/her own. 
This applies really good to teach the child to be responsible. So we are sticking to the rule of "not hitting" with both kids. But we have also add a chore, "clean up after playing" or "if they are just creating a mess." Therefore, the boys also have the responsibility of  keeping the house organized. But the best way to teach a child to be organized and be responsible is by example. I make sure I set the example for them, so I stick to the rules, too. As soon as, they finish playing I remind them to clean up with the song "It's time to put the toys way at Tommy and Francis's house."  I also use the chore of "cleaning up" for increasing vocabulary and language comprehension. I label and point  at the objects they should pick up and tell them where the toys should go. 

Parents should remind clam and being consistant to be successful in a lovely discipline, but it is not always in this way. There are days my boys push the limits, but practice makes perfection. The most I control myself, the better I am responding to chaotic situations. It is about growing together with my boys. I didn't learn all this disciplinary methods on my own. I learned while we were being coached by therapists from the Early Intervention Program (EIP). I miss my son's therapists so much! They will always have a special place in our hearts! 

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Related Post: 
Lovely Discipline

The dolphin of my ocean

Tommy has shown aptitude for a swimmer since he was a baby, even our former pediatrician mentioned to us when he was a few months old. But it wasn't until the end of this past summer, he formally started private swimming lessons, once a week for 30 minutes. For my surprise, he began to swimming in seven lessons. So 7-30 minutes lessons, equals, 3 and half hours that Tommy spent to learn swimming. Between those seven lessons, he had a break of 3 weeks. He is all about "ACCOMPLISHMENT and PRIDE."

This not the best photo ever, but it is the best one that shows

Tommy's natural aptitude for a swimmer when he was 11 month old.

Tommy is aware of the danger of being under the water. In one of his session, he went under the water and he got a little scared, but he acted quickly! He got his head out and swan to reach the edge. It's just his natural aptitude for swimming. As we all are born with aptitudes and talents, my son has also born with his aptitudes and talents, but they are overshadowed for his genetic disorder. Some typical people may just see DISABILITY on him, but I have the privilege to be raising a young little boy who is all about "APTITUDES and TALENTS" and God chose me to be the person who will see beyond all labels given to a child, just because, he was born with a genetic disorder.

I have always heard people saying dolphins are the ocean's angels, well Tommy is the dolphin of my ocean. With his ACCOMPLISHMENTS, Tommy raises me up to walk on stormy seas, he is the angel that gives me hope to keep going because I won't drown. He always does something that gives me hope, so he is the one that feed my passion to do everything I can, and beyond, because I weakness, in many ways, how capable he is.

Regardless the challenges he has had facing in the last almost two years,

he always finds a way to keep shinning.

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Swimming is recommended for kids with sensory processing disorder or kids who has issues with the proprioceptive system.

Happy Panamanian Mother's Day!

Today, December 8, is Mother's Day in Panama. We don't celebrate mother's day as many other countries in May. It is one of the biggest national holiday in my country. Most business are close, except for the first responders and gas stations. Everybody takes the time to honor their moms, even when they are not longer in this world.

Panamanian celebrates Mother's day on December 8  because it is the day of the Immaculate Conception. We have a strong influence from the Catholic Faith passed by the Spanish conquerors. The meaning of the Immaculate conception is that Mother Mary was conceived without the original sin. She was chosen by God to be free from the corrupt nature  that the original sin brings and with the state of sanctifying grace. In other words, Mary was chosen to be mother of Christ since she was conceived. According to my grandma, Mother Mary was around 15 when she had baby Jesus. So when her son was crucified, she was around 48. I can imagine her pain and emotions, regardless she was chosen, she is a mom as I am. I can imagine how her heart was broken for every nail hammered in her son's body to the point she could feel his pain. But she kept her faith strong and didn't doubt about God's father plan. Mother Mary is the one that shows to me with her example of sacrifice, what motherhood without limits is about. 

Thanks to my son's diagnosis, I have met wonderful moms. These moms are also part of the  "Motherhood without limits." These wonderful moms have shaped my motherhood. They have showing me what the power of love can do. I haven't personally met some of these moms, but hey have giving me their unconditional support online or on the phone. Regardless their busy lives, they have taken their time to give their advises, show me their teaching techniques and offering me their support. I am grateful with these moms for sharing their wisdom with me to the benefit of my son. I want you to know them, to honor them is this special day to me. Those moms are:

Mrs. Cunningham. I talked to her a couple of times on the phone when I was expecting Tommy. Unfortunately, I lost contact with her. I never met her in person, but she gave me the advise of developing the love for reading in my son. She was the one who recommended to contact Tommy's first pediatrician. I began to read to Tommy since he was in the womb after my first phone conversation with her. Tommy loves for books is amazing, but it comes from Mrs. Cunningham's advise.  Everybody at school knows how much he loves books. And lately, I have hear him saying "time to read."

Lianna. My first blogger friend. She showed me how important is teaching our kids to read at a very young age. She is all about inclusion and I love to see pictures of her son who has Down syndrome with his best friend, who is a typical child. This is also what I want for Tommy, I want him to be included and having his own typical friends.  

Andi, the writer of Down Syndrome: A Day to Day Guide blog. Her knowledge in supplements to keep her son healthy has inspired me to learn more about my son inmmune system and vitamin therapy. When I contacted her, she contacted other moms to find the answer to my questions without personally knowing me. Her little boy is doing beyond amazing due to her dedication and unconditional love.

Laura, the writer of Down Syndrome: Up, Up and Away blog. She doesn't accept the stereotypes and the odds putting on our kids. She has done a outstanding job with her daughter.  Her daugther K is doing great because she is doing things for kid of her age and above. She was the one who introduce me on how to get help for Tommy in a holistic way.

Gina, the writer of Mom-Blog. She is a web designer who works from home. This girl is smart! When I contacted to ask about nutrition, she sent me a great book that became my star point on knowing more about nutrition. I haven't met her and we don't keep in contact so often, but she welcomed me with out knowing me with great advises and encouragement. She has two daughters, one has Mosaic Down Syndrome and the other one has Autism and SPD. But they both are doing remarkable, regardless the labels. 

Randa Kay, the writer of Braska Bear and Just RK blogs. Everybody loves her because of her sweet personality. She supported me during my son's firt IEP. She even baked goodies to bring to the IEP meeting. She is our leader in our local Down syndorme group. Her daughter, Braska, is a rock star! At her short age, Braska is a great cheerleader with advanced reading skills for age. Braska and her mom have tought me to keep going and work hard that things will get better.

Melissa R. She is my neighbord. She doesn't know it, but she has teaching me so much. I watch her closely how she discipline her son, who also has Down syndrome, and I apply it at home with Tommy.  She always listen to me. Her son is doing outstanding, many things according to his age!

Molly S. She is also my neigbord. I don't see her quite often, but this girl has all the weapons to get what her son's needs throw the IEP. She is very knowledgeable about special education because she is an advocate, a mom of a child with special needs and a special education teacher. So she is a great advisor! Her son has autism and he is doing amazing, I personally cannot tell there is something different on him. 

They are two moms am very grateful to have in my life. They are my mom and my mother-in-law.

My mom. She have taught  me to accept everybody for who they are, not for how much the have or how they look. She taught never make fun of other people's disadvantages, including people with disabilities. She have taught me to fight for a better future. She is the most honest and lovely person I have ever met. As a grandmother, she just is full of joy because she is proud of his two amazing grandsons. She has never seen Tommy's diagnosis first because she always sees the amazing child he is first. My mom has always find away to communicate with Tommy regardless his communication barriers. On the other hand with Francis, she couldn't be here when he was born. She met him a year later, but she was always  talking to him through Skype. When they finally met, it was like she was here with him all the time. While she was visiting, one day I took the boys for a walk, but my mom stayed at the house. Francis felt something was missing, so he went back looking for her and brought her to walk with him. We are so blessed to have her in our lives!

My Mother-in-law. Since my husband and I were dating, she knew I was the one for her son. She always reminds us how important is that we take time for ourselves as a couple, regardless everything we have in our hands. She is right! She sees for everything we are going thru and she always find a way to help us. She is always doing all kind of activities with the boys and telling stories to them. So I created a special area for her in our house full of books, felt board stories, poppets and stuffed animals to animate her stories. One quality I have learned from her is to bring out the child's spirit that it is on all of us, regardless the age. This is crucial for tommy's therapies.

Happy Mothers day to my Aunts, cousins, Friends and all Panamanian Moms and non-Panamanians, too!

Today is a day to celebrate Motherhood without limits!