Parenting, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

When one is expecting a baby, one cannot know what will bring the bundle of joy that is growing in the womb. But I knew, when I got the call confirming I was pregnant of my first child, that my child would be first and anything that would come with him would be after. My motherhood began to bloom right in that moment.


The RESPONSIBILITY as PARENTS starts since the moment a little form of human life begins to develop in the womb, NO when the baby is born! Since the first appointment with the genetic counselor, the first thing my husband said to the counselor: We will keep the baby regardless the results. We never let anyone to disturb our family, Tommy was already part of us, even when he was a tiny human fetus!  When I read how much abortion statics, in general regardless the prenatal diagnosis, are increasing makes me wonder about what values parents are transmitting to their kids. Why do they chose to kill the beginning of a human life? When I think of people chosing termination of Pregnancy becasue of T21, It is something I do not accept. Giving a child in adoption is an option for what ever reason a person cannot take the responsibility of a being a parent. I have had the opportunity to meet adopted adults who were adopted by wonderful families. I also know a mom who has a child with T21 and adopted a little girl with T21 from Europe. I see on all of these families something in common, 'LOVE,' which is probably what our society is losing. 


Both of my kids were screening for T21 and results were "very high risk for T21." I know how it feels and I know how scary it could be! But nothing could more than my LOVE for my kids. Here is were the moral values, faith in God and knowing the feeling of unconditional love, that were transmitting from my family, began to work on me without knowing it. Politician are working for building a strong society, but they won't be able to do it if they keep forgetting about 'family ties.' The family is the solid base of any society, abortion goes against it. So this is not about wrong or right, it is about respecting ourselves as humans.

I believe in my kids potential regardless the oldest one has developmental challenges and the youngest one is developmentally advanced. When Francis was born, we didn't notice any difference when Tommy was born. We just saw "BABIES". Because Tommy didn't have serious health issues made possible we could enjoy him, even when he had pulmonary high pertension, he wasn't suffering. Tommy was very alert, even the doctors noticed that. He, in fact, gave us a harder time as a newborn than Francis. Tommy's first month didn't let me sleep much at night and I had help from my mom and my sister. Francis's first months just waked up once at night. Tommy slept through the night since he was tow months old. Francis was 8 month old when he began to sleep through the night. Tommy knew what to do right away when he ate baby food for the first time. It took Francis a month to get the idea. I can go on and on as many differences I see in my kids and I just see that my boys are special, different and unique as all we are. This is our parenting experience with our kids, every family who is raising a child with developmental challenges and a child with a typical development also have their own experiences. Trisomy 21 is not like a cookie cutter. Kids with T21 share the same diagnosis, but the way they are affected varies because T21 is not a diseases, it is a genetic disorder.

Both of my kids don't follow charts. They both are doing things in a different way that what a milestone chart says. Therefore, I don't put  them in the box of stereotypes and I respect them as little individuals. I just praise them! They have taught me sterotypes are breakable and 'average' doesn't exist. There is not way to put a full potential of a child in a chart or in an evaluation. Therefore, believing in my kids' potential is crucial, for me, to develop good parenting skills. 


Having a child, takes you to a most deep understanding of bond and love. In general, Parenting can be stressful, but when you have a child with developmental challenges things get more challenging than having typical kids, but not less rewarding.  The first 3 years of Tommy's life, we spent a lot of time learning and being couch by a staff of therapists who trained us in early intervention, physical therapy, occupational therapy, oral motor therapy, sensory issues, developmental milestones, behavioral issues, social skills, and so on. So parenting my son with a generic disorder, for me, has been the door to knowledge on how to improve my parenting skills. But along the way, I have also deal with frustration, sadness,  tiredness, worries, stress, anxiety, anger and a grift. Not easy! But all these feelings has brought me to growth as a person, as a mother and as a woman for better and forever.


Having my sencond child with advanced development make things just amazing easy, in the way, I don't have to work with him because it seems he knows it all and he has a very strong sense of independence. He reaches his milestones way ahead or right on track without struggles. However, I feel I don't stimulate him, but I try to have a good time when I am with him! I don't know how different things will get as he gets older; if he keeps having an advanced development, this may bring challenges, but I am ready for it!


My boys are my life couches, they are the ones teaching me what really matters in life. Instead of worry about supperficial things, I care for my kids developing a nice personality and social skills. Physically, they are cute kids, but this is a superficial beauty. The true beauty is the one comes from the heart. If a person it is not considered or doesn't have kindness and love for others; then, It doesn't matter how beutiful face, nice body or a perfect height a person can have, if he or she has an evil personality, it will bring the inside ugliness right to the face. I have known people who are physically attractive, but very evil and no one wants to be around them. So Beauty is not all!


Parenting is very complex. It requires a lot of time to learn how to raise kids. Everything I know about child development it's from therapists; reading many, many books like getting ready to take test; as well as, watching other parents how they interact with their kids and following my mom's example on how she raised us with our feet on earth. After all, Parenting is very rewarding. For my husband and I, it is what has made us complete.

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Adoption vs. Abortion
I have become a supporter of an orphanage that is just a few miles from my house, this is my way of fighting against abortion. These little ones need a lot of LOVE and support because they have been abandoned, but they are also facing disabilities. It is already hard for them to face their challenges, but it is harder if they don't have a supportive family on their side. Please if you like to do volunteer job or want to adopt a child, check in your local organizations, you may find an orphanage near you with little ones who just need warm hugs and heard the magic words: 'I LOVE YOU.'