My perfect child

When we got the news about expecting a child with a genetic disorder, I decided to meet parents who had a child with Trisomy 21. One day, I was talking with one of them on the phone. He mentioned to me that he had a lost, he lost his perfect child. I don't judge him for feeling in this way because the way we all face situations in our lives is different and the way the syndrome affects our kids' health is also different.

I remember thinking of his words and telling to my-self when I was pregnant: "This not the way I feel, I still have the illusion of my first child and he still is perfect to me. The doctors say he has everything in place; he has a nose, two eyes, and a mouth; so he is not a monster. You know what! I won't let the syndrome win, I haven't lost my child and I have a lot of to get ready for the arrival of my son."

I have being raised with my feet on the ground, accepting people for how they are and not for how they look or how much money they have. People who know me know that I always do things in a different way according to my own criteria and not based on what other people can say or think. So, it was not a surprise for them that I would handle this situation with courage and perseverance. But I have to admit it, I am impressed of myself after reading the first emails I sent to our families and friends before and after my son was born. It has made me realize how strong I have being; how I have faced the future with my heart because I could see the past reading these emails. Now, I can see how the future is after 2 and 1/2 years. I want to share fragments of these emails I sent to our families and friends. I wrote those emails based on the reality of how superficial our world has became, expecting perfect babies based on physical beauty when the real beauty is the one that comes from the heart, which is endless.

Mon, 5 Nov 2007 13:51:59
We are so happy with our baby boy, not matter what. We are blessed because God gave us a son as we wanted. This is not a tragedy, it's a challenge and I know that the baby will be strong as we are... I am not afraid of facing this situation because I love my baby with all my heart.

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:37:52
85% of unborn babies are aborted for having Down syndrome in the USA every year. These babies are just killed because they are not what their parents were expecting. Some how, we are glad that we are the ones in this situation because we have the courage to fight for our unborn baby...
Down syndrome is not too bad as many people think. They are able to do pretty much everything that typical people do. But it depends of how much stimulation, care, and love they receive from their parents. We will protect and educate our baby as a typical kid with the same opportunities. We are keeping the illusion of our first baby and we are not going to give up until he will attend a school for typical kids, speak two languages, graduate from college and get married. See the link below (This girl is our inspiration, she is a wonderful person and excellent professional, and she has down syndrome which makes her more special).
http://www.bernadetteresha.com/aboutme.htm

Thursday, March 20, 2008 7:17:06 PM
The experience of expecting a baby with different abilities, not disabilities, has taught us to never feel sorry for the baby or the expecting parents. The society should congratulate and encourage these parents to decrease the percentage of abortion. Expecting parents of a baby with Down syndrome should be admired for the decision of going against a superficial worldwide society that expects perfect babies, when perfection doesn’t exist. Everybody has virtues and defects that don't make he or she less important for God. No body is excluded from God's love for being different...
We love our baby with all our hearts and we'll never stop to dream and fight for a better future for him as any other parents. He will reach all his goals because we will be there for him. We hope other parents in the same situation can understand that a baby is no less for having a genetic disorder; they just need the opportunity to be born.

This email was sent to me by one of my coworkers when Tommy was born: "A wonderful child and a wonderful mother. I’m sure he will grow up just like you… always with a smile on his face..." What this person said it is true. I always have a smile on my face and many people have told me this. Tommy is always smiling just like mommy. I am just impressed that it seems Tommy 's future is already written.

I can proudly say: I have a perfect child.
Why is he perfect?
He is perfect because he has a great personality emerging. People say he is fun to be around. He is a flirt! He winks his eyes to a little girl or a woman, the size doesn't matter. He is a joker, he always does things to make us laugh. He is a little helper, now that he is walking he likes to put the shopping cart in the lane after we put the groceries in the car. He is stubborn as my husband and I. He has aptitudes of an artist, a musician and a dancer. He loves his family, it is amazing how attached he is becoming to my sister by chatting through the computer. Every day, during bath time he says: "Tia" (aunt). He knows after bath time he will talk to her. He is a good learner, and I have heard comments from other people how smart he is. He is a healthy child, he barley gets sick. As any other two year old, he shows frustration when his unhappy and anger when things are not in his way. Lately, he pinches my skin if I don't let him do what he wants. He is a little rascal, he turned the stove on last week. When people hears his full name they like the way it rhymes. His face reflects the beauty of his heart. His physical appearance is perfect because he has my almond eyes and smile; he has my husband eyebrows and jaw; he has my father-in-law's chin; he has my mom's nose, he has my grandma's beautiful hair; he has my grandpa's chest; he has my dad's arms; he has my mother-in-law's nails; he has aunt Melissa's hands; he has my sister's toes; and he has aunt Amy's laugh. What a beautiful child I have, he is perfect!

These are my husband and I favorite
photos of Tommy when he was a baby.
His beauty is in his almond eyes.
He has changed, is changing and will change
many people's minds about people
with a genetic disorder.